This week Sarah wrote:
“I have a question for you about the appropriateness of thanking your professors at the end of a semester. Every once in a while, I feel so strongly about a professor that I want to thank them in an email or letter. I have had a few professors who have really gone out of their way to help me out. When this happens, and the end of the semester comes, it feels so unnatural not to send them a thank you letter. At the same time, it feels slightly unethical to me to send a professor a thank you note or email whenever my grade is not yet determined. I fear that they will feel pressured to give me a grade higher than I deserve. I also fear my professor will perceive my gratitude as an attempt to get a better grade. Do you think that thank you letters are appropriate, and if so, how can I write one in a way that my professor won’t perceive it to be an attempt to obtain a higher grade?”
Dear Sarah,
A solution is to send the thank-you letter after your grade has been submitted. But don’t worry if you send it a little early. We professors very much appreciate the sweet letters that students sometimes send us at the end of the term. We don’t see it as ingratiation. You can be as extreme as you want in your appreciation, which goes a long way to make your professor feel good and want to help students even more.
Thank you for your question for all of us to read! –Anita
Comments
Dear Professor Kelly,
I have been recommended your website from a fellow student. I have a question for you regarding gifts for professors or administrative staff. Over the past year, I have had three very amazing advisors who have worked closely with me — they have written letters of recommendations for me, they have helped me obtain scholarships by proofreading essays and emailing back and forth with me, and they have really helped me become successful at Notre Dame. I have told them thank you a dozen times, even sent them thank you notes, but I was wondering if it is appropriate to get them a small gift, such as a set of bangles from my native country or some ethnic food that I have prepared. Is the University policy which forbids this? I know assisting me is part of their job, but these people have made such a large impact in my life that I want to thank them by sharing a part of me (my culture) with them.
Please let me know if you think this is appropriate. Thank you.
Dear Student,
Your ideas for gifts sound wonderful. Please do go ahead and give those amazing advisors the ethnic gifts you have suggested. The gift ideas are unique and show real thoughtfulness on your part, while not being too extravagant to make your professors feel uncomfortable accepting the gifts. No rules at Notre Dame prohibit your professor from accepting a small gift from you, particularly after you have already received your grade or letter of recommendation from that professor.
One of the most thoughtful and memorable gifts I have ever received from a student was a box of Baklava from his native Syria. It came in the mail with a sweet note after the student was already in his graduate program in California. I was particularly touched because in the note he said that he wanted to share with me something from his native land.
