I just got back from a psychology conference in Las Vegas. The most interesting thing about my trip was not my coming back from a $5000 loss at the poker tables to losing only $800. No. It was a great talk by leading psychologist Jennifer Crocker on building self-esteem.

Professor Crocker explained that many college students try to build their self-esteem by showing their peers how great they are. But these attempts to look good don’t work. What she has found that DOES work is being responsive to your peers’ need for self-esteem. You build them up, and then your self-esteem goes up.

Professor Crocker studied college students and found that their responsiveness to their roommates was followed down the road by elevations in their own self-esteem.

So try making your friends feel particularly good about themselves this week and let’s see what happens!