I find both arguments to be compelling – it is true that “sucking up” can easily lose the respect of peers and even of certain professors, but it is also easy to fall through the cracks and to not be noticed by a professor at all. I’ve done both – gone unnoticed and noticed – and I find it’s not necessary to be “that kid” who raises their hand at every speaking opportunity to form a relationship, but instead to find a tasteful balance. As Sam says, saying something when you believe you have a true insight can be very valuable, or talking to the professor only when you actually have something to talk about (until the student-professor relationship gets to a level of casual friendliness and conversation).
I found that often in cases, it is better to err on the side of more effort. The classes where I have little to no relationship with the professor are the most forgettable ones, and the ones where I feel comfortable remaining in contact with the professor are the most interesting and rewarding. However, this could be attributed to my own personality, just as Sam’s opinion could be attributed to his and Dr. Kelly’s to hers. Each student will probably have a different take on this subject, but I find that what works best for me is making the effort to get to know your professor without being overbearing to him or her, or obnoxious to your classmates.

I think Sam has a lot of good points, especially his insight about maintaining relationships and the way one treats their peers versus their professors. Speaking for myself, I agree that yes, as a student, when I sit in class, I do not appreciate brown-nosers if they do not contribute anything meaningful to discussion. However, what if they do contribute thoughtful discussion… what if their participation is just more frequent compared to their peers because of the extra effort they put in not to butter-up the professor, but to learn? Is that still considered brown-nosing? If Sam’s advice is to not look like you’re trying too hard… which means students trying to be thoughtful have to look like they are not, how could you tell the difference between a brown-noser and a thoughtful student?

I think this is one of those arguments where both sides are compelling and there is support for both ends of the discussion. Yet, I just wanted to give my opinion on the following comment, as made by Sam Stryker: “In fact, I know I can be more successful in life than a lot of the kids in my classes who receive better grades than me.” This reminded me of a discussion I had with my mom my freshman year. My first semester of freshman year was overly difficult for me. I struggled often with my classes. I reached a point where I definitely felt like throwing in the towel. But in talking with my mom, she gave me some very valuable advice (which sounded somewhat similar to Sam’s comment). She started by asking me: Do you know what kind of people makes the best doctors? Well… if I had to guess… I would assume that it is the super smart people who make no less than a B+ in physics, biology, chemistry,etc. To my surprise, she answered that actually… it is sometimes the “brown nosers” and “super geniuses” that aren’t the most qualified to be doctors, but conversely, the people who had to struggle in college that make the best doctors, lawyers, surgeons, etc. I am more than sure that she was not implying that smart people could not qualify in prestigious fields. No not at all. But what she was trying to remind me is that those people, who had to struggle in school, tend to be much more appreciative when they finally earn a degree in their field of choice. Also, unlike “brown-nosers,” those who do not appear to be the brightest in class can often better relate to the people they serve, while keeping in mind his/her own struggles, triumphs, and the like. In simplest terms: Those who may not be “brown-nosers” or seen as the “brightest student” in the class tend to relate to people better because these people tend to act like normal people with normal struggles and normal lives, instead of spending every moment, trying to prove that he/she is so much better than everyone else around them.

Again, either side of the comment can be argued. I have just as many pros I could list for being a “brown-noser” than I have cons. But the example I gave, above, is often neglected, unconsidered, and unmentioned.